


your impulsiveness causes my doubt

by EllaYuki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, Episode Related, Fluff, M/M, POV Katsuki Yuuri, Until proven otherwise, katsuki yuuri is an anxious bean, post episode 7, who doesn't believe victor loves him like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: in which katsuki yuuri won't let himself believe the kiss actually meant what he thinks is does. for a few hours at least.





	your impulsiveness causes my doubt

yuuri doesn’t want to let himself think about the kiss throughout the medal ceremony, throughout the interviews, throughout the impromptu celebration with phichit and with chris after they’re free to leave the arena.

he doesn’t want to think about it, is afraid of thinking about it and maybe making it more than what he believes it is, but somehow…

somehow it’s all that he can think about.

it was brief. barely there and soft and yuuri might have imagined it if his lips didn’t tingle for an hour after it, if victor’s eyes didn’t sparkle more than usual, if phichit didn’t talk his ear off about it in between squeals of happiness at his gold medal.

still, even if yuuri can’t stop himself from thinking about it, he can try to suppress the embers of hope that are threatening to burst into raging flames in his chest.

because if there’s one thing he’s learned about victor in the months since he’s started coaching yuuri, it’s that he’s impulsive to a fault. and yuuri knows better than to trust that an impulsive kiss prompted by yuuri’s surprise quad flip is more than what victor said: a way to surprise yuuri as much as victor himself had been surprised.

sure, they’ve gotten closer over time, and sure, he’s thought about what it would be like, to have his feeling be reciprocated like that… but he’s never really actually believed their relationship would ever go there.

somehow, they manage to evade any questions about it, victor cutting off any reporter who tries and making it clear that anything other than yuuri’s skating and future competitions is strictly off limits. and chris and phichit aside (because best friends benefits, and even then it’s just light teasing that stops after a while), the others skaters get the hint and don’t mention it.

it’s not awkward, not really, because yuuri doesn’t let himself make it awkward, and by the time they get back to the hotel, he’s all but convinced himself that it’s nothing they need to talk about, and that it’s definitely a heat-of-the-moment one-off. as far as he’s concerned, things will continue as they’ve been until now, as much as that damn, niggling speck of hope insists otherwise.

and then, they’re alone, and victor follows him into his hotel room, rambling about the next day’s exhibitions skate and beaming, beaming, beaming so much it’s almost blinding to yuuri. and the knot in yuuri’s belly expands, the heat in his chest intensifies, no matter how hard he tries to let it.

victor is so relaxed, and yuuri’s hands are starting to shake.

‘we should sleep,’ yuuris says, as he takes off his jacket, his glasses. ‘it’s been a hellish day, and i want to skate some more tomorrow, i should really get some rest.’

‘oh. yes, of course,’ victor sounds puzzled to yuuri’s ears, like he hadn’t actually noticed the late hour or that his student might just fall asleep standing.

but he doesn’t make to leave the room. and when yuuri turns to him, victor’s slightly blurry form, just a couple of feet away a few moments ago, is suddenly in his space, is suddenly almost crystal clear.

‘victor?’ he asks, quiet, unable to raise his voice even if he tried, and victor’s smile has turned soft and tender.

‘oh my yuuri.’ his voice is as tender as his smile and yuuri’s breath is stuck in his throat, his eyes caught in victor’s gaze and he is lost.

when victor caresses his cheek lightly, yuuri can’t suppress the shudder that courses through his entire body, can’t help the gasp that escapes his lips, can’t do anything but lean into the warm touch.

and when victor kisses him again, long, hot, the fingers of one hand threaded in yuuri’s hair, the other hand pressing into the small of yuuri’s back, yuuri lets himself melt into it, lets himself believe, lets himself drown.

and for a few moments, a few long, heart-stopping moments, in between kisses he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the taste of, he thinks he knows where this is heading, thinks he knows how this night will end, and he’s completely ready to give in, to let himself be devoured completely.

so when victor pulls away instead of pushing him onto the bed, when victor rests his forehead against yuuri’s shoulder and hugs yuuri tight, yuuri feels disoriented.

even more so when victor pulls away almost completely, only his hands remaining on yuuri’s shoulders, and kisses yuuri’s temple, then his lips, then his cheek, so feather-light it almost hurts.

‘i’ll let you rest now,’ he says, and yuuri wants to protest, wants to pull him back in, wants to drown again. ‘i’ll see you in the morning. i’ll let you sleep in a bit, you deserve it.’ and with another soft kiss, he pulls away, steps away, is already by the door by the time yuuri snaps out of his daze.

‘victor,’ he calls out, and when victor turns to him, he swallows the words he wants to say, and says a simple ‘goodnight.’

‘goodnight, yuuri,’ he says, and yuuri hears the smile that his blurry sight doesn’t let him see. and then he’s out of the room, and yuuri can breathe again.

by the time yuuri manages to fall asleep, he honestly can’t wait for morning to come.

he falls asleep smiling.


End file.
